I wish Rich fell out of love. I wish he cheated. I wish he was unkind. I wish he did something wrong!

He didn't. He was sweet and beautiful and I will love him forever.

And I'm allowed to. I will never let him go.

I think it's easier to hate than love. I tried to hate him. I read his emails, searched his pockets, I even broke locks...looking for betrayal...nothing...

Ridiculous, I just think I could escape betrayal sooner than grief (I am trapped in grief.)

At the end of the day, I'm a girl who loves a boy who loved a girl. We'll be okay...

I wish...I don't even know what for anymore...